On the drive home my wife asked, what did the farmer say as we were leaving? I told her, I think he said the puppy may get car sick. On cue, the puppy spit up 15 pounds of semi digested puppy chow.
After Week 1: We bought Puppy training spray. The directions say. After puppy soils an area, spray the diameter of area, and puppy will not continue to go in the same spot. The puppy peed on living room rug. I cleaned the spot scolded the puppy, and sprayed the training spray on the rug. The Puppy pooped under the kitchen table. I scolded the puppy and sprayed under the table. Since, the puppy has peed on the rug, in the same general location at least 3 times day for 5 straight days, and has pooped in the same spot once every day. After 4 days I sprayed the entire carpet. After 5 days, and 2 bottles of Training spray, I sprayed the entire puppy. Puppy continues to soil carpets. Good news, there wasn't much to clean up on the lawn.
After week 2: The retriever in the puppy is really showing. I was in my office when the puppy trotted down the hall with an envelope in his mouth. I took the envelope and said good puppy. He trotted away and came back with a magazine. I took the magazine and petted his head. He trotted away and came back with a rubber kitchen glove that had a hole in, but the hole was not from him. Good puppy, good good puppy! He trotted away and came back with an empty cereal box. I got up from my desk and went to the kitchen to find the trash can overturned, and the contents spilled through out the kitchen floor.
After week 3: I read online that to train a puppy to sit, you must force him into the position while repeating in a clear voice "sit!". I forced the puppy to sit, and said sit 5 times. Once I let go, the puppy got up and tried to walk away. I grabbed the puppy and said sit then I forced him into a sitting position. I wrestled with him again, and again. Finally he sat and he looked at me. I said again, "sit!", he immediately rose. I said "sit!', he stared at me. I forced him back into a sitting position. I said sit, and he rose again. In frustration, I yelled Damnit! The puppy sat. I said sit, he rose. Damnit, the puppy sat. I said sit, and he rose again. My frustration boiled over, and the puppy ran. I yelled "Damnit! sit!". He stopped and sat. I thought I finally made my Helen Keller break though. I gently said "sit" he rose. Damnit! The puppy sat again.
After week 4: I noticed a tooth in the puppy's food disk, so I read the section of the puppy training book on teething. It read if puppy starts chewing on things other than designated toys, lightly swat the puppy's nose and say no. The puppy was chewing on my shoe, so I swatted him on the nose and said no. He continued to chew on my shoe. I swatted him again, he briefly looked up at me, and went back to chewing on the shoe. I swatted his nose a little harder. He growled. I swatted his nose with the puppy trainer book, and he got up and walked away. I went to put my shoe back in the bedroom, when I came back the puppy had the trainer book on the floor and had chewed most of the text unreadable.
After week 5. It has rained for most of the week, and the puppy would not go outside. I stood in the rain with his beloved Monkey ball, trying to get him to come outside. He wouldn't budge from the doorway. I dragged him out into the rain, but once he was free, he grabbed his monkey ball and ran back into the house. After I cleaned the muddy footprints up off the kitchen floor. I forced him outside, and closed the door. The puppy looked in at me from the glass slider door, but I went to watch some TV. I came back 5 minutes later, and he was still on the top stair looking in. I went back to my TV program, and came back 15 minutes. He was off the stair. So I went to the door to look outside for him. He came walking up with what looked like 4 brown boots, and chocolate smile. After giving him a bath, I put him to bed in his kennel. Sometime about 2 am, I heard him whining so I went to look in his kennel. He was no longer Golden. He has dark brown splotches all over him. Turns out the muddy water makes for a great dog laxative.
